Apart from the fact that I have been occupied by other things than photography and blogging lately I feel that I am facing another problem which might be more serious.
I think I have lost my direction.
Not in a which-way-is-North kinda way, but regarding what I want to do with my photography.
Photography is my hobby, and it still is. It were never intended to be more than that and I still hold on to that.
No, the trouble I am facing is more a matter of passion, I think.
Since I started my photographic journey I have been trhough many phases. From happily clicking away, hoping something magical would happen to blowing sunshine up my own butt, when the basic skills were learned to thinking I will never learn anything and so on and so on.
Recently I have been focusing more on making the pictures interesting. Make express something and not just be static displays of how good I have become at turning dials on my camera or sliders in Lightroom.
I am currently reading "A beautiful anarchy" by David duChemin and he explains that to find your vision, you have to find out what interests you, and then use that as a subject or theme in your photography.
This is where I fail.
I just can't seem to figure out what it is that interests me so much that I just have to take pictures of it at the moment. It keeps me from picking up the camera and just go for a walk with my camera, because I seldom see anything I find interesting.
My wife thinks I am just being hard on myself, but I think there is more to it. Maybe I just lost the edge?
In "A beautiful anarchy" David DuChemin mentions the periods he have experienced in the past, where he just couldn't get thinks to work and thought he had taken his last good photo. That his Muse had left him.
In a way that expresses what I feel perfectly.
Now, I also realize that I am going through a period with extremely packed days where there is a minimum of time left when all the thinks I have to do are done, and yes, that of course plays a role as well.
And there have been some positive experiences as well. I have been working on a couple of new Lo-Fi collections (see the first here) and one is almost ready to be published now. The way I work on these collections are much different from how I usually work, as the pictures for the new collections are more gritty and way more processed and stylized than what I usually do and that has been fun to try.
I have also tried to kickstart myself by playing The Minimalists 30-day game. I have gotten rid of load of junk that way and even though this doesn't directly help me get out there and find my Passion, it does give a sense of starting over and gives you a much lesser feeling of weight pulling you down.